ChristiansUnite Forums

Your children are a product of YOU!

Now if only more people would think about that, I do believe parenting would change as a whole for most people.  It seems to me the popular thought is the parents are blameless nowadays.   ::)

I agree..

"God gave us these little ones for just a short time,he said there your blessing,but remember there mine.A child is more precious than silver or gold."

Just a few snipets from the song by Betty Jean Robinson,Babies dont keep..

Wrong

Brother Love :)

wrong?????thats all you have to say?no reason?

Actually, I think most people blame their parents for everything today. We of course are all accountable for our motives and actions as parents. And our children are also accountable for their motives and actions. Our behavior will definitely affect our children but our children are in God's hands.

I used to blame my parents too but now I see that all of us are born with a lack of feeling unconditionally loved. i have known children from wonderful parents whom they blame for their lack of feeling unconditionally loved. No person can give anyone else the unconditional love that we're all seeking. That can only com from God.  

to guide our children into a close, loving, and personal relationship with the Lord ASAP. Until then, we must represent God to them because that is how we are viewed.

Personally, I ain't up to the task so I must rely on the Lord as well. Thank God for grace.

But you know, God has never had a human child who did not cause problems.
aw

Jesus

Everyone blames their parents but the parents currently don't think that their children act the way they do because of them.

If you raise your children in the admonition of the LORD they will keep those ways.  If you teach your children to hate then they hate.  If you teach them how to be disrespectful they will be disrespectful.  This is what I mean by "your children are a product of you."

God seems to think we are responsible for our children especially the father.

Eph 6:4  And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Psa 127:3  Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward.
Psa 127:4  As arrows [are] in the hand of a mighty man; so [are] children of the youth.
Psa 127:5  Happy [is] the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Pro 17:6  Children's children [are] the crown of old men; and the glory of children [are] their fathers.
Pro 20:7  The just [man] walketh in his integrity: his children [are] blessed after him.

I can't find the rest right now so it'll have to wait.

one child is  in the drug world

one child is a christian


i love both of them, cared for both, prayed for both, etc

If the (normal) parent is to take blame for the child  do you credit the parent for the childs acumplishments.  As humans  there comes a time when we stand  aside from our parents. accepting responsibility for our own sin and thanking GOD for our acumplishments.

 grandma  :-*

I say it's time to lay the blame right where it belongs:

ON THE KIDS

If the parent does a good job, and the kid still acts up, we can't continually blame the parent.  Now, I agree, most of the time, I blame parents.  The adult (hippie) generation has screwed over my generation and all that are to come.

Oklahoma Howdy to All,

This has the promise of being a very interesting thread. I think that I see some opinions of several generations. It might be difficult to all get on the same sheet of music. We would need representatives of all critical categories for a really good discussion:

Teenage or young adult single male
Teenage or young adult single female

A dad currently trying to raise kids
A mom currently trying to raise kids

A grandpa watching his kids raise kids
A grandma watching her kids raise kids

I volunteer for the grandpa position if it isn't already filled.   :D

I already know the discussion would become much more complicated if you added a non-Christian to each category. I don't think it would be fair to add a great-grandpa and great-grandma to the mix. They've walked in all of those shoes and feel it is time for the young'uns to learn for themselves.   :D

In Christ,
Tom

I fill the Dad raising a child category.

I guess I'll take the teenage or young adult single male, and I don't think there and any teenage or young adult single female's, I have drafted sapph to be the second teenage or young adult.  ;D

Oklahoma Howdy to Tibby,

There are stereotypes that could be used, but they many times don't work in real life. If you have Christian parents who love you, there have probably been all kinds of rules, some you might understand and some you would disagree with.

The general stereotype would be that you are more intelligent than the older generations and think there are better ways of doing just about everything in the raising of a family.

The general stereotype of your parents might be to accomplish some of all of these:  Learn the things of the Lord and walk in them as an adult, direct and encourage you away from alcohol and drugs, direct and encourage you away from those who will go to prison, and generally keep you alive.  

Generally, the efforts of the parents are not appreciated, misunderstood, and seem to be a burden for the young adult. The parents know this and hope there will be understanding down the road as they get older.

Well, this is a start, maybe too much. I'll tell you what grandpa might think later.   :D

In Christ,
Tom

I am a teenage single female, so I'll take that role!  ;D

Oklahoma Howdy to Willowburch,

Thanks for joining in. Maybe we could first address other opinions about stereotypical thinking, from your perspective instead of mine. As an example, is it true that a dad has rougher rules for a daughter than a son? Does mom do more worrying about the son than dad?

In Christ,
Tom

I didn't even know you where a teenager, let alone a chick! In that  case, I take back what I said about slapping you with a Tuna. It was a minnow. ;D

Well, my thoughts are, I think parents need to beet the living daylights out of there kids when they do things. Not abusive, Never again style beatings, I mean good ol' fashion wood shed beatings! People need to learn the difference between disciplining your child and abusing them! My parents tanned my hide with a PVC pipe! Everyone over the age of 15 has a story about there brutal beatings the got for kicking soccer balls in the house, or calling your little sister a name, or other Dennis the Mince-style things kids do. What I've noticed is kids are getting less and less corporal punishment! All these abuse lawsuits and stuff, some parents are scared. I say, put the fear of God in the little runts! I think everyone’s favorite potty-mouth, Maddox, puts it best:

(http://maddox.xmission.com/beatkid4.jpg)

For ages, people have been getting beaten till they can’t sit down as children, and you know what, it makes them stronger! The kids who didn’t get beat, like royalty for example, where nothing but lazy, inbred, and incompetent! This is one thing everyone, Baptist, Methodism, Catholic, everyone, can agree on. Unless you’re a Kennedy, and your parents can PAY your way out of trouble, beat your kids, they will thank you for it!

I vote Tibby for President of the American Taliban! Seriously, what's wrong with you? You'd rather have people starve than not have them witnessed to, and now you want kids beaten? I spanked, I said spanked, not beat, my children until I  realized that if I did the same to an adult neighbor I would be arrested for assault and battery.

I don't know if I can be here often, but put me in the non-christian single parent category.

Eyeball

Male, non-christian single parent.

Eyeball

The prevailing Godlessness of the world has much to do with the ailments of parents and children today. Parents are not bringing up their children in the Lord and children are not obeying their parents in the Lord. This is true even in so called Christian families.

We should stop insisting and fighting to say verbal prayer in our schools and instead concentrate to say them in our homes with our families and children along with bible study. Then we should practice with our children and all we come in contact with what we preach.

Hey, use your EYEBALL and reread my post about Missionary work, and this post above. For the love of Pete man, I didn’t say either of those things, and if you’d read my posts, you’d know that!

First of all, I’m the one who thought that we need to feed them before we witness to them! ME, I was the one who brought it up IN FAVOR of it! Jason was the one who think we need to hand out tracks. I think we could get a lot more accomplished as Christians if we put our resource in with the general Humanitarian workers, to feed and clothes the people. Let the Missionaries come, they are not going to get anything done when people can’t here the word of God over the sound of their bodies cannibalizing themselves!

And as for kids, That post was Simi-humorous. I beleive in spanking, of course. That picture is clearing meant as a joke! I made a CLEAR distension between spanking kids, and abusing them. My exact words:


Come on, bro. What is wrong with YOU!? Beating, spanking, it is all semantics. You got what I was saying. Or, at least you should have... But, as I parent, I can see how you would get caught up in the momment, and misread the post. What kind of parent would you be if you didn't stand up for the kids, right?

Tibby, I am sorry. Please accept my apology. Hey, what makes it even worse is that I actually responded to that post by "Saved 4 Ever", then got the names wrong. That's probably why I did not see your post here as humorous. That, and me being a Dad.
Eyeball

Yeah, it is cool. People keep confusing me for others all the time. I guess the name "tibby" just doesn't sick in peoples head,s and when you see someone else name right next to it... yeah.
Like I said, it was understandable, you being a parent. My humour is hard to grasp at times, and just a little twisted. I keep forgetting people can't hear tone of voice online.  :)

In my family, there's just daughters, so I can't say for sure, lol! We have rules in our family, but I don't consider them "rough". I think my parents worry equally about the kids - perhaps in different ways, of course.

Hey, I may be blonde, but I'm no chick! (Besides, we had the tuna for lunch. You're too late.)

Hey tibby I don't recall telling anyone that they should hand out tracks to starving people.  I don't know where you got the idea that is witnessing to someone.

Now then, for the unenlightened, I never said I wanted people to starve.  If you are unsaved you understand not at all why I want someone to go to heaven rather than hell.

You can't even begin to argue the fact that not teaching people how to feed themselves and just giving them food is right.  It is cruel and unusual to give starving people food and then leave.  You just create more starving people.

Our missionaries if in a "starving" area give them food AND the gospel.  

I simply gave a "if you had to pick" scenario.

Big problem here, your children are not adults nor your neighbors.  You are responsible for your children not your neighbors.

Your children are not your equal's and you are not their friend.  You are their caretakers and responsible to raise them and take care of them.  Part of taking care of your children is disciplining them.

Heidi -

No person can give anyone else the unconditional love that we're all seeking. That can only com from God.

I entirely disagree (surprised?).  I know that my parents love me unconditionally...that is why I have had success in life thus far.  I may have fought with them bitterly through my mid-teenage years, but my mother and I are finally friends and I realized that if she still truly loved me after the monster I had been at times, then she would love me through anything.  That feeling gives me such comfort - to know that someone will love you regardless of what you do is an amazing comfort.

Also, you are forgetting animals...my horse, Sadie, loves me unconditionally as well.  I used to turn to her all the time, and when I thought no one else cared, she was always there...she gave me great comfort and support in trying times.  Because of this, we developed a deep bond and a strong love - we love each other unconditionally.

So I disagree...unconditional love (the real kind) is possible.

~AAAA

Please remember, folks, I'm blonde, and not very intellectual - but I don't know about the animal thing. I like horses, I work with them every day, but horses aren't people; they're pretty smart (smarter'n lots of folks I know, lol) and they can offer consolation to the bitter or grieving soul; but as far as showing unconditional love, the REAL kind, I would have to disagree.

Sadie loves you because you show love to her. I have a feeling you don't mistreat her; she has good food, shelter, and a human "family".

I think unconditional love is best expressed when it spans the gap of abuse, hatred, rebellion, etc. Only then does it become "unconditional" love.

If you love someone because they're good to you, great! That is the proper response - but it doesn't become "unconditional" until you love them when they don't return the affection, even when they go so far as to harm or kill you.

Just my li'l view on things.

I fully agree that parents should practice corporal punishment. (NOT capitol punishment, there IS a difference, folks!)

My general view on the subject: Discipline is an act of love toward your children. If you love them, you won't spare the rod. I think some parents can over-exert their powers in this way; not all discipline is loving and justifiable in the sight of the Lord, its child abuse. Children are a great gift to us from God! (And NO, there is no return receipt.) We should instruct them to the best of our abilities (that's all we can do anyway!) but not be abusive. My uncle would beat his children for the slightest offenses, leaving welts on their bodies; in his anger he once dumped a pot of boiling spaghettie on his two-year-old daughter because she was crying in her highchair. This type of abusiveness is a little more extreme than some, of course.

If you spank your child, is that abuse? It depends on why you're spanking! If you hit for no reason, yes!

But if this punishment leads them toward godly character and loving obedience, it will hurt the child much more if you neglect this discipline.

Every parent is going to have doubts about their parenting skills. And why not? It isn't like they get a free trial before they have to do the real thing! Parents are human, they make mistakes, and often they don't have a clue what they're getting into.

My mother often groans, now, about what a terrible mother she was. How she spanked too hard, too much, lost her temper, didn't know how to raise kids, etc. I don't understand why she worries. She did her very best to give me the most excellent childhood I could have. I don't remember "abuse", if that's what it was at all. My good memories are so rich that they drown out a lot of my mother's "mistakes".

Sometimes I remember her shouting and smacking and all that good stuff; but for every painful memory there are five or six sweet ones. I remember the mom who played "pirate" and made me clothes, who sat on the porch swing with me in the afternoons and sang a "daddy-come-home" song until I could spot his car in the distance. She must've done something right, because the only thing I can see of her throughout my life is Love.

Okay, now I'm crying, big ol' baby  ;D

And also commands given by Jesus Christ:

Matthew 5:43.  Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
 44.  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
 45.  That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
 46.  For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
 47.  And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
 48.  Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

nothing on earth warms like the love of a child


nothing on earth hurts like the rebellion of a child


i have been the  baby ,kid, teen, parent, grandparent raising the kid, Now  THANK GOD i am just grandma. :)

Each stage of life has its blessings and trials.



spanking?

  Proverbs 29:15
The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Eph 6:4
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.


 The scriptures show a GODLY balance

Good post.

The Godly balance seems to be the missing element in todays
life styles.