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I'm not a woman, but a Christian man hoping for some insight.

My wife's little sister "Suzie" is 26 and just moved out after living with us for 13 months -- 11 of which were rent free.  We invited her from out-of-country (she was an American living abroad with family) to come and live with us for a while to try and get her feet under her in the way of a little more independence in Christ.  She comes from an abusive, heavily codependent background and at 26 she had never lived apart from either parents or sisters -- all of whom treat her very poorly.

Basically every day she was with us was filled with angst, anger, blatant disrespect of my wife, our home and me also.  Screaming, arguing about "her rights" in our home, sullen, rude, venomous and every free waking hour of the day curled up in bed watching television -- occasionally poking her head out of her room and asking us to keep the kids quiet for her -- this should quickly paint a relatively accurate picture.

So, now she's gone and praise God for it.  We finally had enough and told her to leave; we allowed her better than a month to get her finances together, find an apartment and now she's gone and a heavy, dark spirit has lifted off our home, the air is fresher, wife kids and I laugh and have joy again -- life is good without Suzie -- dramatically better than with her.

Problem is she has no one in this town.  All of her other family is either out-of-state or out-of-country.  While she was here, we pushed and pushed for her to get involved with the church, find friends, cultivate relationships, but she chose to watch tv instead.  Obviously she has some significant emotional problems. 

However, now she's in a crummy apartment across town with no life outside of her job.  She calls my wife wanting to go get coffee and my wife just really just doesn't want to be around her at this point -- the girl has just treated her, her husband and home like @%#$! for over a year.  So my wife starts trying to explain it to her as sweetly as possible, "You know, Suzie, you really weren't very nice when you were here and..."  But Suzie cuts her off and just starts screaming like a lunatic and hangs up on her -- the last thing being said:  "Fine! You call ME when you want to go for coffee!"

Now you need to understand, my wife is probably NEVER going to call her.  That girl has burnt her bridges with her sister and I wouldn't be in favor of my wife exposing herself to even another 10 minutes of abuse from this angry, twisted young spoiled brat of a woman, BUT at the same time, I feel bad for her and while it rarely shows in her behaviors and attitudes, I know that contact with us has and likely would continue to help her somewhat.  I don't want her to live a miserable, lonely life all embittered and messed up.

Your thoughts?  Opinions?  Advice?  Prayers?

Thanks.

NMC

Prayer, lots of prayer that she can start a life in Christ.  Jesus will help you get through those hard times. Keep your faith, in the Lord.

I will be praying for the whole family.

Amen, I agree with PR, but please also call on her and invite her to attend church with you it might help her to make friends outside of the family circle and most important to have a relationship with the Lord. I too will be praying for the entire family.

That was DW sister not me.   ;)

nmc,

Does your Church have a coffee social? Invite her to coffee to that if possible. Perhaps you can get a strong Christian from your church to visit her and invite her to church, especially so someone her own age. As the others have said, prayer is very important. If your church has a prayer request list you can possibly put an unspecified prayer request for her on the list so that your entire church can be praying for her.

I, too, will be joining you and the others in prayer for her.

Sorry about that DW and PR. I STILL agree though :D

Having trouble telling us apart?

That's ok sister, I fully understand.  ;D ;D ;D

Just blame it on a senior moment.

I think you've done all you can do physically. If you do anymore you will just be enablers in her life. As everyone else has already said, pray. Pray that she finds Christ and that she is surrounded with Godly counsel. Maybe you and your wife will or won't be the one's to bring her to Christ but pray that someone will. It might be that she may look at your wife as a nag - just because it's her sister and she may resent her for not being able to stay with you gusy. I think you both have done a great job - and just keep doing what your doing and pray. I don't think there is any other physical thing you can do for her.

Of course, I forgot, those senior moments  ;D

Amen Danielle, the Lord of the Harvest has the perfect Laborer for each person, I will pray that the scales will fall from her eyes and that she will be able to see the Truth clearly.