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The head sits on the top and you sit on the bottom.

We do not raise silk worms in the United States, because we get our silk from rayon. He is a larger worm and gives more silk.

One of the main causes of dust is janitors.

A scout obeys all to whom obedience is due and respects all duly constipated authorities.

One by-product of raising cattle is calves.

To prevent head colds, use an agonizer to spray into the nose until it drips into the throat.

The word trousers is an uncommon noun because it is singular at the top and plural at the bottom.

Syntax is all the money collected at the church from sinners.

The blood circulates through the body by flowing down one leg and up the other.

In spring, the salmon swim upstream to spoon.

Iron was discovered because someone smelt it.

In the middle of the 18th century, all the morons moved to Utah.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.

Never try to baptize a cat.

AMEN!!!!!!!!  :o :o :o :o

Words of wisdom from a child who learned early in life, more the likely from experience  ;D

Q: Name a major disease associaed with cigarettes?
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
A: The body is consisted into three parts—
    the brainium, the borax, and the abdominal cavity.
    The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains
    the heart and lungs; and the abdominal cavity
    contains the five bowels: A, E, I, O and U.

Q: What is a fibula?
A. A small lie.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

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And they are funny too Blad,  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Barney

A four year old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked down her ears with an otoscope, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a tongue depressor and looked down her throat. He asked, "Do you think I'll find the Cookie Monster down there?" Again, the little girl was silent. Then the doctor put a stethoscope to her chest. As he listened to her heart beat, he asked, "Do you think I'll hear Barney in there?" "Oh, no!" the little girl replied. "Jesus is in my heart. Barney's on my underpants."

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.' Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

         LOL  love it!

There was a family that was experiencing a small tragedy. One of their two sons had acquired an illness that required a marrow transplant. Of course, the medical personell had all the family members tested to see who had the proper type of blood. It turned out the older brother of the sick boy was the perfect match. So the father sat the older brother down and told what they needed to do in simplest terms for the young boy. The father told him that his little brother was very very sick and that he needed to show his little brother how much he loved him by having surgery. The doctors need to take a little piece of him and put it in his little brother's body so that he doesn't die. The young boy thought about it for a couple seconds, and then he said he would do it.

So the older brother went through surgery. it was a success, and his little brother was recovering quickly. After the relief and joy passed over and the family was just sitting around relaxing, the father noticed his older son looking a little down and depressed. He took his son aside and asked him why he wasn't happy- his brother was getting better. His son said that he was very glad that his brother was getting better. So the father asked again, why are you so sad? The boy said, "When is it time for me to die?"

That's when the father realized what the boy actually had on his mind. His older son believed in his heart of hearts that he had to give up his own life so that his little brother who he loved could live.