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Title: Moms Post by: airIam2worship on June 09, 2006, 02:58:21 PM Mom's Dictionary 2
AIRPLANE: What Mom impersonates to get a 1-yr.-old to eat strained beets. APPLE: Nutricious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. BABY: 1. Dad, when he gets a cold. 2. Mom's youngest child, even if he's 42. BATHROOM: a room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning. BECAUSE: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically. BED and BREAKFAST: Two things the kids will never make for themselves. CAR POOL: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar. COUCH POTATO: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner. DATE: Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting. DRINKING GLASS: Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge. DUST RAGS: See "DAD'S UNDERWEAR." EAR: A place where kids store dirt. EAT: What kids do between meals, but not at them. ENERGY: Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something. EYE: The highly susceptible optic nerve which, according to Mom, can be "put out" by anything from a suction-arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife. FOOD: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question "What's for dinner tonight?" See "SARCASM" GENIUSES: Amazingly, all of Mom's kids. HAMPER: A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded By, but not containing, dirty clothing. HANDI-WIPES: Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, etc. HINDSIGHT: What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers. ICE: Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic tray if kids or husbands ever filled the things instead of putting them back in the freezer empty. JEANS: Which, according to kids, are appropriate for just about any occasion, including church and funerals. JUNK: Dad's stuff. KISS: Mom medicine. LEMONADE STAND: Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and net a profit of 15 cents. MAYBE: No. OCEAN: What the bathroom floor looks like after bath night for kids, assorted pets, two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy boats, cars and animals. OPEN: The position of children's mouths when they eat in front of company. OVERSTUFFED RECLINER: Mom's nickname for Dad. |