ChristiansUnite Forums

My boyfriend of nearly 3 years and I had a big fight, at least I thought so. So because I needed someone to talk to, I went to the Pastor at our church for sound, biblical advice. When I told my boyfriend where I had been, he got angry, saying that I alienated him from the church by dragging them into our business. If I can't go to my Pastor and my church family for advice, who CAN I turn to? Was I wrong, should I have tried to work it out with him first?

Babybear, first of all I would like to welcome you to CU. I pray you will visit us often.
Sister you did absolutely nothing wrong, I would have done the same thing if I felt I needed counsel and advice from a man or woman of God who would be able to guide me in the right direction.
You say this young man has been your boyfriend for 3 years, has he been attending church as long as you have? Sister sometimes men think they are weak if they don't have total control over everything that involves them, especially in their personal life. They don't want to seem like they are weak, what they don't understand is that sometimes they need counsel from a more mature Chrsitian, it doesn't always have to be a Pastor or a Minister, personally, I would prefer to speak with a pastor or a minister, they are more qualified and they are more discreet, and they are sincerely interested in the spiritual well being of their flock.
Everyone reacts in different ways, you probably know your boyfriend well enough to be able to explain to him that you felt the need for spiritual guidance in that particular area, and that does not mean that you were demeaning him in any way, or that you were putting out your problems to be seen by all.
Maybe now would be a good time for you to really weigh the pros and cons of this relationship, and go straight to your prayer closet and let God know, even though He already knows, let Him know how you feel and give it all to Him allow God to guied you, and Sister, even if you don't agree with what the Lord may lead you to do, (it might mean to separate yourself from your boyfriend for a while) please follow God's counsel, you can never go wrong by following HIM.
satan tries to separate us from going to God or to the men God has placed in charge of taking care of His sheep, by using tactics such as anger, threats, and control.
Recognize the enemies tactics, don't let any of them separate you from the love of God which is the first love.
In closing please be assured that you did what you felt you had to do and you went to the person/s God has set in place for you to get advice from. Continue to pray for your boy friend and please think about this, 'if he has reacted this way while he is yet your boyfriend, how would he react if you and he were to get married?'.
You may PM me if you wish.
God bless you sister, and I am praying for you.
Your sister in Christ,
Maria.

Hello babybear1980, and welcome to Christians Unite forums. By the way, don't let the name fool you, I am a guy. :D

First off, your b-f should know that anything told to your Pastor, is in confidence. The Pastor won't say nothing, to any other members. No you are not wrong, to go to your Pastor. If your b-f is a Christian, which I would doubt, he wouldn't have a problem.

Remember one thing sister, God loves his own. You are one of Gods children.

Resting in the hands, of the Lord.
Bob

If you did all you could to resolve the situation and was not able to or you simply did not know the appropriate action to take then you did the right thing. To have gone without Godly councill would have been wrong.

Thanks you guys. As far as him being christian, he is but we are both new christians that are trying to get rid of old habits and find ourselves stumbling This last fight we had was over something trivial that I seem to have a problem with and found out today i get that from my mom. The results of my actions and his temper was part of the old habits he is trying to change and he also stumbled last night. I just ask that you all keep us in your prayers. Thanks for all the support. ;)

Babybear, we are all here to help you. Yes I will be praying for both of you.

your sister in Christ,
Maria

Babybear, I will be praying for both of you.

 ;D :D   
Thank you all for your prayers, we have worked things out and are moving on with our life. Looking back over the whole situation, i can see where i over reacted and made some impulse decisions. I just ask that you all continue to pray for us not only in our relationship with each other, but also in our relationship with God as we are still new at it and Satan has been working mighty hard at breaking us down. Thanks again.

Baby,
I would have done the same thing! No worries, my sister. Everytime i have a problem i go running to my Pastor and my bible. His number is on speed dial!

It's going to be tough for both your guys adjusting to your new life in Christ while battleing all the old demons. Good luck! And remember....love is a verb.

No doubt you did the right thing

Amen
Hello Renuka, Welcome to Christians Unite, we have many wonderful sweet Christians here, I know you will enjoy you visits, I look forward to reading more of your posts