ChristiansUnite Forums

Hello everyone.

I've come here on the urging of a dear friend of mine. He's been a wonderful part of my life for around 2 and a half years now, and has helped me in many ways. But, I'm afraid that he alone cannot help me this time.

Let me start by telling you about myself. I'm a 21 year old college student in North Carolina. On September 18, 2005, I was re-baptized in a true to heart ceremony and began my new walk with Christ. Since that time, I have met many challenges, most of which I have faced down and conquered. But this time... things weren't that easy to handle. I lost the love of the most wonderful man on Friday, March 24, and my best friend on Sunday, March 26. Though things have calmed down between the three of us, they are still running off together and cutting me out of their lives. I have gotten to the point where I feel abandoned on all fronts, even by the Lord. I'm sorry that I feel that way... I just don't understand what's happening to my life.

I really don't want to overload you all with my story. I was told that I would find... something... here. Something that I feel I'm lacking. Whether it be guidance, words of comfort, or even prayer, I will gladly accept it. I feel that I'm weak, that I can't go on. I hope that I haven't come here seeming like a pity case... I'm not. I'm just terribly lost and want so much to find my way again.

If there's anything else anyone would like to know, feel free to ask. I'll answer as I can.

Hi everyone,
I just wanted to speak my peace for Wayfarer. I know she thinks herself a pity cause, but she is truly a wonderful person, someone who has been used by God in my own life since I met her.

I asked her to come here because I know that God has given her a special insight, a sort of fire deep down for Him and His word. She has allot to give, but she feels herself to be weak. There are so many here who have been an encouragement to me, and some who I feel to be closer to God than I could ever hope to be. And I know that you will have words of encouragement and love for my dear sister.

And I think that as God helps her to continue in her growth, she will grow into a truly beautiful Christian woman. Keep her in your prayers as you continue getting to know her through this forum.

-Little Pilgrim

Hi Wayfarer,

Welcome to Christians Unite. If you know Jesus as Your Saviour then you are not lost and you are not abondoned. Jesus told us that He would never leave nor forsake us. That means that once we are His we are always His. He will be with us no matter what we may go through. Feeling depressed and lonely? Turn to Him in prayer and He will be there for you.

I don't want to sound trite or anything, honestly I don't... but I've reached the point where I feel that prayer isn't helping. All the things I've prayed for... clarity, reconciliation, truth... none of it has come. I've shed so many tears... I shed them now speaking to my friend... and I'm so tired. I'm so beaten down by all the troubles that this life has battered me with. I don't feel any strength in me anymore. It's all I can do to get out of bed anymore.

I do believe in God. I do believe in the power and blood of Christ. I just feel, right now, that there's nothing in this life for me. That it's all being taken away because I don't deserve it. And it hurts, so badly does it hurt. I just want the pain to end.

Hello Wayfarer,

WELCOME!!


I sincerely hope that you enjoy Christians Unite, and I'm happy that you came here to be with us.

Sister, I want to tell you something that is very simple, BUT it is so TRUE. I firmly believe that GOD leads HIS children to HIS Will for their lives and away from things that are not HIS Will for our lives. GOD does love us, and HE has promised in HIS WORD that everything will work out together for good to them who love GOD. I firmly believe this, but I also know that we have to pray and try hard to yield to HIS Will before the promise can be delivered. In other words, I am convinced that GOD will allow us to do things that are against HIS Will. GOD won't force us to accept HIS Ways, but we should know that HIS Ways always bring the best joy and peace in our lives.

Sister, please pray about this. Could this be GOD leading you in a different path? You are upset now, but maybe there would be worse down the road than what you are experiencing now. That's why I know it is an absolute necessity for Christians to pray and ask GOD for guidance in the paths that HE wants us to take. HE can work out things for our good if we let HIM. There is no irony that GOD'S ways always involve our greatest happiness and joy in whatever we do or say in this short life. We don't know what tomorrow holds, but GOD does. We can and should pray on a very frequent basis and ask GOD what HE wants for us. It will definitely be the best, and we shouldn't be in a hurry for answers. We must learn to wait on the LORD when we pray. We many times want answers right now, but GOD gives HIS plan for us in HIS time and in HIS way. You will understand the first time you experience this, and you will want to pray more often.

You are a young adult with your whole life before you, AND you have just made the most important decision of your life - Accepting JESUS CHRIST as your Lord and Saviour. I'm very happy that you are asking questions, and I'm very happy to tell you with certainty - Please pray and wait on the LORD for HIS Will and Guidance. HE is the LORD over your life now, and HE will always be with you now for eternity. This is a wonderful way to start as a Christian to pray and start depending on HIM for the difficult times in your life. In the meantime, we will be praying for you.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Psalms 111:7-8 NASB  The works of His hands are truth and justice; All His precepts are sure.  They are upheld forever and ever; They are performed in truth and uprightness.

To both BEP and Pastor Roger,
I want to thank you for your encouragement. Wayfarer has been through trials that you and I could never truly sympathize with, trials that we may never experience in our own lives... She has expressed to me that she is tired of fighting. And that is another reason I directed her here. She needs you, and I, and so many others to be prayer warriors for her, and to lend what strength we can.

Wayfarer, you were away when I posted this, so I'm putting it here. Your story, in many ways, reminds me of Job. He lost so much more than you or I could ever hope to gain. He lost his status, his family (All of his children, killed), his wealth, and yes, for a time, his health. And he asked tough questions just as you are now... It may seem lengthy, but perhaps his story will be an encouragement to you in this difficult time.

Listen to the words of the people here... And know that they are praying for you as fervorently as I am.

Sister,

We both must have been typing a message at the same time. I just finished a reply to you, and your message was waiting. Please allow me to share a couple of thoughts with you. I know that you are in the middle of a trial right now, so I know what you're thinking about. I'm still giving thanks that you accepted JESUS CHRIST as your Lord and Saviour. I want you to please think about something tonight:

1 - You have just begun a NEW LIFE in JESUS, and everything has become new. However, you aren't used to that yet, and you probably don't understand everything yet.

2 - You are now a child of the KING OF KINGS, the Master and Creator of the Universe. The Blood of JESUS CHRIST on the Cross has rescued you from the curse of sin and death. You have already been bought and delivered to the mighty Hands of JESUS, and no power in the Universe can snatch you out of HIS HANDS. You belong to JESUS now, and HE wants you to be happy in this short life as a child of the KING with a full inheritance of the Saints in LIGHT for eternity.

3 - We serve an AWESOME and ALL-POWERFUL GOD! There is no problem too big to give to HIM. We will become exhausted in our problems many times in this short life, and that's the time to kneel before GOD, pray, lay all of your problems at HIS Feet, wait upon the LORD, and trust HIM to work everything out for your good. We must humble ourselves and pray with reverence and respect. After all, becoming a child of the KING of KINGS means that we can pray directly to HIM day and night. HE loves to hear our prayers, but we must learn to have patience and wait for HIS time and HIS way to answer us.

Sister, please let this be an opportunity for you to grow in the STRENGTH of JESUS. Even this trial may be the best time of your life. I hope and pray that you look back on this time and remember that GOD used it to make you STRONG IN HIM. I will be praying that you have the patience to wait on the LORD, to pray and pray some more. You won't be talking to a human being, rather you will be Praying to THE SUPREME BEING - ALMIGHTY GOD HIMSELF!

Love in Christ,
Tom

Hebrews 10:23-25 NASB  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.

Psalms 119:114 NASB  You are my hiding place and my shield; I wait for Your word.

Hi sister,

I do understand going through trials and tribulations. It is difficult to see the light when the darkness is so overwhelming but believe me when I say that the light is right there with you. Even though it may not seem so to you right now, Jesus is there guiding you through whatever it is that you are experiencing. Stay strong in Him. Stay in prayer with Him. Be sure that your prayers are asking for the right things ....  His will not ours.

I spoke with some friends, Little Pilgrim, my dear friend David, and the two for whom I am hurting, last night. My anger, as they all know, is quick and burns hot, but never long. Sometimes, I believe that I choose NOT to see what the Lord has given me. I choose NOT to see that He has blessed me many times more than I've been cursed.

I know that the Lord is there with me. I know that He never lets me walk alone. But I've suffered such depression in the last 8 or 10 years that sometimes my vision gets cloudy and I can't find the way. Yes, it's been that long. My past is riddled with pain, so this suffering is nothing new.

I'm the kind of person who loves openly and freely. I don't ask for much in return. I'll deny myself for others. I should know by now that this is the price I pay for it. But when I give so much of myself to others, put so much of who I am into making relationships work, pray so very hard for the strength to do right, just to have it all thrown away in a few spat words... it shakes the entire foundation of my world. I can't find a way to help people understand that about me. I've been called crazy many times in the past week for still wanting my ex and my best friend in my life. It's because I love them, and because I forgive them for what they've done to me, because I know I've hurt them. I need forgiveness. I need to know that they won't hate me.

Am I a bad person? Am I broken in some way that I'll fight for those I love, even when they won't fight for me?

No more so than any of the rest of us.


We are all broken in one way or another. That is why we need God in our lives. I am not saying that this is your problem. We cannot force people to love us. All we can do is give them the love that God tells us to give. If they will not return that love we must learn to let it go and move on. As you have already been told, God may have other plans for you with different people in your life than those two people.

As for your depression. There is a section here titled "Bible Prescription Shop" with some excellant posts that I think may help you out.

Wayfarer, welcome to Christians Unite. You are very much loved, just think some one loved you enough to tell you about CU, Jesus loves you even more. We all go thru so much hardship and pain and sorrow, wayfarer the Bible tells us that when we are weak, then we are strong:

 2Co 12:10 Wherefore I take pleasure in weaknesses, in injuries, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

God is always with us even when we think He isn't, He knows our pain, He know our sorrow, and He is a great rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

Ask God to give you peace about all that you are going thru, then let Him know your sorrows, He wants to hear you talk to Him, He will comfort you. The Bible tells us in Isaiah 61:3 that God will give us beauty for ashes. It is all in His timing, and His timing is always right.

I am praying for you sister.

And don't forget, Wayfarer, that though humanity will often fail us, God will not. You know me well enough to know that I lost what faith I had in humanity a long time ago. But I've not lost my faith in God. I've not lost my faith in His ability to use humanity, to bring people into our lives when we need them most.

Don't forget that though those you have mentioned have failed you, there are so many more of us who love you dearly, and who will not give up fighting for you. You are in my prayers even now, my dear sister.

Allow me to wish you peace.  The loss of any loved one is diffficult.  You know it is strange, but when we have  relationship diffficulties, they are so difficult to remember when that person is gone from our lives.  As you mourn the loss of your dear friend, think of all the good times.  the smiles, the laughter and remember the times of pain.  It is the memories that will bring you to life again.  Without struggle or pain, there is no life and we cannot define joy. We'll talk again.   Robi

First off, hello Wayfarer and welcome to Christians Unite forums. Sorry I didn't see this thread earlier.

I know a little of the trials you are going through, as my wife was killed in 2001. I brought justice to her killer. He is now, a Christian, assitance Pastor in jail. Before you ask, yes I have forgiven him. God knows what you are going through sister. place your trust and faith in the hands, of the Lord. Theres are no stronger hands, that can hold you in your time of need.

Yes I know it is hard, but if I can do it, so can you. Its time, you do as I do...........

Resting in the hands, of the Lord.
Bob

1 John 3:3 And everyone who has this hope [resting] on Him cleanses (purifies) himself just as He is pure (chaste, undefiled, guiltless).

I thank you all for your words of comfort and guidance. It's hard to face the day sometimes, knowing that I will see them together. I know that, in time, I'll be okay with it. But right now, I have a difficult time facing it. I know they're not dating one another, they have more respect for me than that. I just still wish that it was me that he was spending time with, or me that she was talking to. Days are empty because they're not around.

They've both told me to just be myself. But 'myself' is buried under a lot of pain right now. 'Myself' is wounded and in hiding. There's only a mask right now. They want me to be okay, they want me to get better, but I don't know how I can do that if they say they'll be there and aren't. It feels like a betrayal of their word every time they blow right past me to go off on some new adventure together. I don't know what to do.

I just want this to be over. I want this to be in the past. I want my friends back. That's all I ask God for anymore, but the road is so long, I don't know if I can walk it anymore.

Hello Wayfarer,

Many of us have been praying for you. I was just thinking back in my life about the many disappointments and things that didn't go the way that I wanted them to. Now, I'm glad that they didn't. GOD had something else for me and it was something better.

There were a lot of things that I didn't understand when I was younger, mainly because I wasn't completely yielded to the LORD. Forty years later, there are still many times that I'm not yielded to the LORD in the way that I should be. This is a matter of prayer for me, and GOD has been good to me, even in the times that I tried to go my way instead of HIS way. I did learn that HIS Way always involves the greatest happiness, so I now want to pray more and seek HIS Will. I am firmly convinced that GOD brought to me the right wife, and I give thanks that I waited for her. She's a sweet Christian lady and we've been married for 34 years. We raised a family together with CHRIST as the head of our home, and our children are now raising families with CHRIST as the head of their home. I really don't think that I knew about real love when I was your age. I think that I do now, and I'm certainly not saying anything about you, just me.

I will pray that GOD brings you a husband who will love you for life and make you happy in a home with CHRIST as the head.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Psalms 111:2 NASB  Great are the works of the LORD; They are studied by all who delight in them.

Wayfarer, you are still young, my dear when I was your age and I was married and expecting my first baby, the man I was married to was not only an abuser, but he also got himself a girlfriend. He moved out of the house, took the only car we had, which I was paying for, and beat me before he left. I remember that day thinking the the whole world had ended for me. That had been my first and only boyfriend and I just thought I was going to die. My neighbor heard all the commotion and when he was gone she came to check on me. She sat by my side and told me in her roken English (she was from India) that it was ok to cry, she told right now it seemed like I would never be happy again and that in the morning things would be better. I didn't know she was a Christian, she kept cheking in on me everyday and telling me how God loved me her Bible was in her language and shamefully at the time I didn't have one.
Why am I telling you all this? Because all of us every single one of us has gone through some pain and sorrow and we all know how it feels to be hurt. Many of us know how it feels to be betrayed by those we love most and that we trust most. When we are young and go thru these things it seems like it is the end, but wayfarer, it is not the end. It may be a new begining, God may have something much better for you, look perhaps you lost 2 friends and it's natural and normal to feel the way you do, but time heals all pain, and you have already made friends here at CU who care for you.
Wayfarer, even our Lord Jesus Christ was betrayed by someone He undoubtedly loved and was very close to. Judas betrayed our Lord, I have no doubt that Jesus was hurt by this betrayal. So you see He knows how you feel He will comfort you. Just turn to Him, you have found thee very best friend anyone could ever have, He will never leave you, betray you or hurt you. Trust Him.

         Dear Wayfarer:

    I welcome you to CU(ChristiansUnite).I have already been praying for you.You
have a GREAT friend that got you to come here.I hope that you find MANY more
friends in this forum.I hope to see you in the posts.I hope that God through this
forum will give you the strength that you need.


                                  Yours in Yeshua,
                                  curious

Hey everyone,

Sorry for the long absence. The Easter holiday came upon me quite suddenly, and I was whisked away home. But I'm back now, and I'll take more time and make more effort to navigate my way around the site and see what there is to see.

I suppose I can update everyone on my situation. The inevitable has in fact happened, and my ex is now dating my former best friend (I say former because her and I will never be as close as we once were). It's been almost 4 weeks since the break-up, but I think I'm going to be okay with that.

I've gone to each of them in turn and spoken with them openly and honestly about how I feel and what I think. They've each taken it to heart and we've three agreed that we'll do what we can to stay friends. I love them both and want them happy, so I'll be supportive in their decisions, but only to a degree. I won't put my neck out again, only to get my head cut off.

The ex and I have made amends, but the friend and I are slower at coming to that completely. She knows I'm wounded because she took him from me, and I haven't completely forgiven her. She also knows that there's a chance that I never will forgive her competely. But we're working on healing one anothers wounds, though mine run deeper than hers because it was two against one.

My stepmother advised me over Easter break that I should work in a limited capacity for the time being. Just lay low and don't exert any more effort than I need to where they are concerned. I understand what she means and I'm praying that my resolve to do something along those lines holds.

I want to thank you all for praying for me. It really helps me to know that there are people out there who will still do something so wonderful for someone they don't even know. It makes me think that there's hope for at least a large portion of the human race after all (that stems from my childhood, please don't judge me on that). For all that I've seen, done, and been through in my life, it's people like this community who will love and care about someone when all they have is words that has kept me alive recently. When I've come close to ending my pain in my own way, I've thought about all the people who are out there and working for me, and I stay my hand.

Thank you all for your hearts, and thank God for you all.

Love,
Wayfarer

I thank God for that, too. You are a special person, if to no one else other than God Himself. As a sister in Christ you are very special to all of us here. God has plans for you sister, moreso than you and I may ever know and He does have someone special for you, in His time it will be made known to you.

I'm glad to hear that you are starting to be able to deal with this. I too agree with your what your Aunt said.

Hello wayfarer, are you feeling a little better?

Wayfarer, It's good to see you back. Healing takes a while. But remember, the sooner you forgive the sooner you will begin to heal.  Unforgiveness can hurt you more than the person who has wronged you. We will always be here for you. I thought about you just the other day, I said a quick prayer for you. You are still young and I know God has someone very, very special for you. for now just concentrate on getting to know God and His unending love for you.
Your friend and sister in Chris,
Maria

Hello Wayfarer,

I second the excellent advice of please forgive. There are many good reasons why the Bible tells us to forgive, but the best one is that JESUS died on the Cross for our sins, and HIS blood on the Cross makes forgiveness for our sins possible. We are to forgive as we have been forgiven by GOD. You will also feel better when you do. Holding something like this inside you is not healthy or good.

Many are still praying for you. I hope and pray that you one day look back at this and thank God that HE showed you this was not the right permanent relationship for you. One of these days you might consider marriage, and for many reasons it's wise to pray and ask GOD to help you with big decisions.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Psalms 116:12-13 NASB  What shall I render to the LORD For all His benefits toward me?  I shall lift up the cup of salvation And call upon the name of the LORD.