Please Pray for me...

[kittiara]

Hello everyone,

This is my first post here. I was looking for some answers online and found this forum. So I hope I am welcome.

I know that you don't know me but I ask to please pray for me. I need it.

I have always believed in God, but I am not sure my prayers reach him, not anymore. I would like to think that they do. Prayer gives me inner peace, or at least more peace than I tend to have lately.

At the end of october I had something like a nervous breakdown, I think. It is like everything bad that had ever happened in my life came rushing at me. And everything that I had ever done wrong. I don't know why it happened, but it has been so bad. I was stuck in an anxiety attack for days on end. The doctor gave me beta blockers but those made me feel so much worse so I stopped taking them after the first one and tried deal with it all through prayer and figuring things out for myself.

Those first days were so horrible. I had these strange images and feelings. My mind was such a dark place and it was so hard to escape from that downward spiral. I was on my knees crying and praying. I thought that I was going insane, that this was it. That I would end up in a mental institution. I had violent dreams though I would never ever hurt anyone, or myself for that matter.

It has been up and down since then. On wednesday the 19th I have my first appointment with a therapist and I am scared. I have this list to fill out with 34 questions and looking at those seems to make my overanalyse anything I think and feel. I am scared that he will say that this is it, this is how my life will be from now on. or worse, that I will slip back and go past how I felt those first days and be stuck in that darkness forever. I am scared that there is something horribly wrong with me and that I will be locked up.

All I want is to be "normal" again. be able to have a job again, go out, be around people, enjoy nature again. be a functional human being and a productive member of society. When I look at the future now, it looks so hopeless.

I don't know why this has happened to me and is happening to me. I know that I have done so very many things wrong in my life. But I am so sorry about my mistakes.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I hope that God hears my prayers. But I would still like to ask, please pray for me?

Many thanks in advance,

Kit

[John 3:16]

Welcome kittiara to ChristiansUnite  Prayer is on the way
Richard - Racers For Christ Forum

[kittiara]

Many sincere thanks Richard for your prayer and kindness. I am very grateful.

Kit

[felix102]

I am praying for you.

Are you a Christian? Do you know Jesus Christ? He is the only means by which you can receive eternal salvation. Jesus died for all your sins that you should not suffer the consequences of them. Sins seperate you from God but Jesus brings you to God.

God so loved the world that he sent his son, Jesus, to die for the world; that whoever would believe in him should have eternal life. Whoever would call on Jesus would be saved.

A terrible thing has happened to you. Ask in Jesus's name for it to leave you. Know that God is in control of everything. The devil can do nothing to you without God's permission. Absolutely everything submits to God. Do not fear anything for God loves you.

[LoriCx3]

"Be still and know that I am God."  

All confusion and condemnation caome from the enemy.

[kittiara]

Thank you both *smiles*

I would like to think that I am a Christian. I believe in God, I believe in Jesus. I believe that Jesus died for us, out of love for us.

Just lately I doubt everything, most of all myself. Everything just seems so uncertain. Sometimes it seems all so impossible. So even my faith is unstable, even though I cling to it. I hope that that makes sense.

But I pray, and I prayed for healing and for whatever is happening to me, to leave me. I hope that it will.

[felix102]

You can do nothing for yourself. You do not have the power. You are weak. But that is why Paul said, "For when I am weak, I am strong" It is Christ who is our source of power.

The future seems very uncertain to you but it is known and planned out carefully by God. Trust this. God is not willing that you should perish; it is God's will we become fruitful servants for his purpose. I have to tell you that this life is not about the things of this world: careers, relationships, knowledge, entertainment, money, sports...it is about a life with God, with Jesus.

Believe that God exists and that Jesus is alive and that the Holy Spirit lives in you. Your prayers do not depend on your faith for you can have faith as small as a mustard seed and still move mountains. Trust in God. You may not know why things are happening but ALL things work towards the good of those who love God.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him"

Mediatate on that when you begin to try and figure things out. In life, people cannot always figure out why things happen until later. For now, trust in God. Come to know Him more intimately.

[ajjessadams]

We always were praying for you Kit,  that's why you came home.  

"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:"  Matthew 7:7

If you give me your last name, I'll add you to our prayer list at church.

[kittiara]

  You are all so very welcoming, and those responses are heart warming and give me hope. Thank you!

I went to the therapist for that first appointment. He thinks that I have anxiety (I knew that, of course) and also post traumatic stress syndrome (or disorder, whatever it is called).

I guess that it makes it a bit easier to have a "label" on things. I was mainly so scared of harming somebody, what with my mind being so weird at times. I would never wish to harm anyone.

I also feared that perhaps something bad was affecting me. The devil, perhaps. That may sound weird, but then again it is easy to believe anything when feeling that way.

So it is lovely to see some good, nice people that pray for me, that are kind, and caring. And that didn't mind that someone they do not know, comes here and spills her troubles.

Thank you, again.

My surname is Marsters. I would be ever so appreciative. I believe in the power of prayer, and to know that people are praying for me does make a difference. It is comforting.

Kit

[ajjessadams]

Kit, I sent your story to my church, and you will be on the prayer list soon.  Please keep us up to date on how you are doing, as we are all very concerned about you and want you to be the happy, joyful person that you should be.

Have you had any luck finding a church?  It may take a while to find the one you like, but the search is worth the journey.  You are walking hand in hand with the Lord, even if at times it doesn't feel like it.  

[kittiara]

Thank you once more, sincerely  

No luck finding a church yet - yesterday I was so very tired as I had not been sleeping well (big storms outside at night time), so slept for a big part of the day, and the same today - I only woke up at about 3 PM, shame on me! Feeling somewhat better after all that rest though, done some housechores and the such.

I hope to feel well enough soon to find out more about the churches in this area. I bet it is worth it, indeed.

Thank you again so much for your concern, and for your prayers.

Kit