Family Values

[Soldier4Christ]

There is much said in todays political world about family values. Some politicians have made the statement a part of their platform. Just what are Biblical family values and how does good family values affect us, our children, our neighbors, in fact the world as a whole. In this thread I will be giving many different stories related to this subject and perhaps portions of some sermons as well.

The stories are about the successes and the failures of a family struggling to do what is right to bring a family up in the word of our Lord. My hope is that it may be a blessing to others and that maybe someone else can learn from the mistakes made by this family as well as from the successes.

[Soldier4Christ]

Psa 127:1  <A Song of degrees for Solomon.> Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
Psa 127:2  It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.
Psa 127:3  Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psa 127:4  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Psa 127:5  Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

Eph 6:4  And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.



(disclaimer: Please understand that my intentions here are not to advocate large families. I realise that some people may have their "quivers full" with only one or two children. It is also possible that God intends some people other work than that of  raising any children at all. My intent here is to portray the family values presented in the Bible, along with their rewards, that my family struggled so hard to achieve.)

I come from a line of big families. My great great grandfather came from Ostergotland, Sweden in 1836 bringing his wife and  8 children. A ninth child was still born on the ship to the U.S. They settled down on a farm in the northe western part of Illinois. His oldest son then had 9 children. My grandfather was also the eldest son and had 6 children before he lost his wife to pneumonia. He remarried a few years later and added two step children to his family. My dad was also the oldest in his family, he had 8 children, I was the fifth born.

People today say they can't afford such a large family as that. I thought that way at one time myself. I only wanted two children. I wanted to be able to give them more than I had. I have since realized that I had, and still do have, so much more than some kids that were the only child or only had one brother or sister. Believe me when I say it wasn't any easier then than it is now. Having a family is not easy but it certainly is rewarding in so very many ways.

As a child I remember many, many days of warm, wonderful family times. Times that I would not exchange for all the money in the world. Being a large family we all had to share in the work. We were all assigned chores to do. My Dad worked for a large factory making some really good money. It wasn't enough to support a large family especially in the 40's and 50's. He decided to start planting his own garden. Not having a whole lot of his own land he went to several people in town that had a lot of unused land. He put in a garden in those lots with the agreement that the owners would get some of the harvest. He also mowed and cleaned up yards. Some of those yards were full of fruit trees. We had to clean the fruit out of the yard and trees and in some cases were allowed to take the fruit home.

Some of us kids would help Dad in the garden and with the yards. Others helped Mom put up the harvest, mostly by canning. All of us together, helping in our own way. It wasn't all work either. We had our fun times to go along with the hard work. Summer days after the gardens were in and waiting for the crops to mature there were family baseball games, hot evenings sitting under a shade tree sipping homemade lemonade while Dad read from the Bible or the family singing some old Gospel songs. Saturday family get togethers at Grandpas house. All the Aunts and Uncles and all of our cousins. Big picnic tables set together in the yard. The men folk gathered in the yard talking, the kids playing games, the women in the kitchen preparing the food. When the food was ready and placed on the table Grandpa would give thanks and ask for the blessings. Then it was time for some good food and family fellowship. The love would be present for sure.

Winter time would be just as enjoyable. We would all gather in the living room after the evening meal and dishes were done. My mother would turn the TV off after the evening news was done. Dad would bring out his Bible and read to us from it. Occassionally Dad would hand the Bible to one of us that knew how to read and have us read to the family.

Today we live a much faster paced life and many families think that they can't live that way anymore. Both parents work outside of the house. The kids all take off to someone elses house to "hang out" getting home in time to go to bed. Families don't know each other as well and in some cases are even strangers. My own family was like that, but that is another story in itself.

[nChrist]

Pastor Roger,

Thanks brother, I really enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to more. I was just thinking that God richly blessed your family with love and spiritual blessings. Money and material possessions mean nothing in comparison. I only have two brothers, so I grew up in a small family. BUT, our only wealth was in love and spiritual things also.

Brother, I have a feeling there will be much for us to enjoy and learn in this thread.

Love In Christ,
Tom

Ephesians 4:4-6 NASB  There is one body and one Spirit, just as also you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all who is over all and through all and in all.

[Soldier4Christ]

"What if I told you that there was a magic bullet---something
that would improve the quality of your daily life, your children's
chances of success in the world, your family's health, our values
as a society? Something that is inexpensive, simple to produce
and within the reach of pretty much anyone? Miriam Weinstein
begins her book 'The Surprising Power of Family Meals' with
those two questions and then suggests that the 'magic bullet'
missed by so many families is as simple as a shared meal. A 2003
survey indicated that children and teens who share dinner with
their families five or more nights a week were far less likely
to have tried alcohol, cigarettes or marijuana. 'Those who eat
lots of family dinners are almost twice as likely to get A's
in school as their classmates who rarely eat as a family.' Now
that's something to chew on. Launch a revolution. Have dinner as
a family." ---Albert Mohler

[Soldier4Christ]

Young people are taught in our schools that ethics, morals, right and wrong, depend upon the situation. Teachers use the concept of Values Clarification to instruct students that their desires represent valid moral and ethical values. Many of these young people have come of age and are among the nation's highest leaders. For example, on September 11, 1998 President Clinton promised the "most ethical administration in the history of the country." What was his understanding of morality?

Morality is important in all areas of society. It is critical that young people receive ethical values that provide lasting benefits. Today's educational teaching produces mixed results. Consider the following:

Every day in the United States of America:

    * 4,219 teenagers contract sexually transmitted diseases
    * 2,329 teenagers unintentionally become pregnant
    * 908 teenagers who didn't intend on becoming pregnant obtain abortions
    * 1,000 adolescents begin drinking alcohol
    * 500 adolescents begin using illicit drugs
    * 16,000 crimes are committed on school campuses


Differences among the general population of teenagers:

# Drug use by teenagers is 59% less when parents set clear rules.

# Drug use among teenagers participating in school related activities was 50% of the rate for those students not participating.

# Drug use was 2.4 times higher among non-religious students than for those participating in religious activities.

# Drug use is 4 times higher among students receiving poor grades than for those receiving good grades.


Differences among Christian youth and youth WITHOUT OBJECTIVE STANDARDS of truth are:

# 48% more likely to cheat on an exam

# 2 times more likely to get drunk

# 3 times more likely to use illegal drugs

# 6 times more likely to attempt suicide


There are two basic philosophies of ethics.

    * One adheres to an objective standard of right and wrong. (i.e. Ten Commandments)

    * The other views right and wrong as fluid and changing depending on the situation and the desired outcome. This is the philosophy of much of "postmodern" society.

It is vital that you understand these two ethical positions and the consequences that have come about because they affect our way of life. Views of morality affect your health and safety, they affect crime, they affect business, they affect government, they affect your future. Our secular schools are probably not teaching objective moral standards. You will not observe objective moral standards on network TV programs. It is vitally important that our families and our religious institutions pick up the slack and re-establish basic objective moral principles among our people.

The prior statements and statistics are excerpts from "All About Ethics and Morals"  by Robert Sherman.

[Soldier4Christ]

Page 1

Today one of the key political keywords that we hear quite frequently is "family values" or of a little less useage is the term "biblical family values". As much as this is used there are many that cannot answer at all or they give a large variety of answers when asked to define these terms.


What are these Biblical family values? The list given below is not a complete one, but it's a good foundation on which to build your beliefs about family values.

   1. Biblical values start with marriage. God created the family in the garden of Eden. Marriage serves as the linchpin of family stability. That's why Jesus said,  Mat 19:4  And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
Mat 19:5  And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Mat 19:6  Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

   2. Biblical values restrict sexual relationships to marriage. Sexual interaction within marriage is pure and enhances human fulfillment. In any other context, it is to be treated as sinful behavior. Heb 13:4  Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.


   3. Biblical values focus on a father and a mother as the primary behavior molders of children. Fathers are to bring their children up in "...the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). Mothers must know how to "...love their children" (Titus 2:4).


   4. Biblical values require Christians to minister to families that are broken and imperfect. You don't just write people off because they are divorced, because there's only one parent present in the home or because some people have problems raising their children. We take our cue from Jesus who offered living water to a woman who had been married five times and refused to condemn a woman caught in the act of adultery. (See John 4 and John 8 ).


God has told us specifically what each person in the family structure must do. These are not just guidelines that we can waiver on or modify as we desire. If our children and childrens children are to grow and stand fast in the ways of the Lord then we must adhere to them.

Psa 78:5  For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children:
Psa 78:6  That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; who should arise and declare them to their children:
Psa 78:7  That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments:
Psa 78:8  And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; a generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God.

In the following paragraphs and verses we will see what these requirements are for each person in the family structure.

God's Requirement for Fathers

The father being the head of the house is responsible to God for the proper functioning of the home.

1Co 11:3  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

The father is responsible for insuring that his family is provided for in all aspects, protecting, financially, physically and spiritually.

1Ti 5:8  But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

The father is responsible for insuring that his children are taught and raised in the ways of the Lord.

Pro 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

2Ti 3:16  All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
2Ti 3:17  That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works.

Eph 6:4  And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
 
Deu 6:5  And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deu 6:6  And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
Deu 6:7  And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

Psa 127:1  <A Song of degrees for Solomon.> Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.

A part of teaching your children is to do so by example. A father must lead his children by showing them the
things that are right through his own actions.  One of these things is in how you treat the members of the family as well as other people both in action and in word.

1Jo 4:21  And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also.

Mat 5:44  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Eph 5:25  Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

Col 3:19  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.

Cont'd on page two

[Soldier4Christ]

Page two

As we can see here it is neither the state�s nor the church�s responsibility to educate our children, and if Christian fathers look to the state to educate their children through its schools or to the church to educate their children through Sunday schools and other programs only, then those fathers have abdicated their responsibility under God.


God's Requirement for Mothers

A mothers responsibility is to her husband and to God. If the father sets down rules and teachings in a Godly manner and the mother does not uphold those rules and teachings then she has failed her children, husband and God. This inconsistancy in rules and teachings causes disparity and confusion in the children. Children that are brought up in this manner are more apt to go their own ways, not Gods, when they become adults.

1Co 11:3  But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Col 3:18  Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

Pro 14:1  Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Tit 2:4  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

Deu 6:6  And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart:
Deu 6:7  And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

 Eze 16:44  Behold, every one that useth proverbs shall use this proverb against thee, saying, As is the mother, so is her daughter.
Eze 16:45  Thou art thy mother's daughter, that lotheth her husband and her children; and thou art the sister of thy sisters, which lothed their husbands and their children: your mother was an Hittite, and your father an Amorite.

Pro 29:15  The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Pro 29:16  When the wicked are multiplied, transgression increaseth: but the righteous shall see their fall.
Pro 29:17  Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

These last verses (Pro 29: 15-16) brings to us a requirement for both parents, discipline. The Bible teaches us that it is of utmost importance that our children receive proper discipline. This is not to say that a child should be beat with a physical rod all the time. The Hebrew word for rod was she&#770;bet&#803;. This word is used in the context of this verse meaning correction. This is the same meaning meant in the following verses. We are to correct our children lovingly with proper correction.

Pro 13:24  He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Pro 19:18  Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.

Pro 22:15  Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Pro 23:13  Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Pro 23:14  Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

As was said earlier it is important that we teach our children in the proper ways of the lord both in the things we do as well as in the things that we say. This is equally important for both parents. If our children hear us saying bad things about others, passing on gossip about others, using swear words, they in turn are going to do these things. If not in front of us then they will when amongst their peers.

Eph 4:29  Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
Eph 4:30  And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Eph 4:31  Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
Eph 4:32  And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Col 3:17  And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.

Many parents today want to lean on the idea that they don't want to "force religion" on their children, leaning on the idea of "free will" and "age of accountablity" teachings. By doing this we are not abiding in the teachings of the Lord and we are shirking our responsibilities to our children and to God.

Luk 18:15  And they brought unto him also infants, that he would touch them: but when his disciples saw it, they rebuked them.
Luk 18:16  But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.


Gods requirements for Grandparents

Grandparents do have spiritual responsibilities also. If we have not taught our children properly then it will reflect in how they teach their children. For this reason it is of great importance that we teach our children properly long before we become grandparents, preparing our children to teach their children according to the word of God.

Many children through their love for their grandparents will follow the example their grandparents set forth. So in fact you are also teaching your grandchildren. As the Bible says about Abraham teaching "his household after him" it is our responsibility as grandparents to do so also. How our children and our childrens children are taught is a reflection on us.

Gen 18:18  Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?
Gen 18:19  For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

Pro 13:22  A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.

Pro 17:6  Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.




God's Requirement for Children

Just as all people show their love for Jesus by doing as He has told us to do we also show our love for our parents by doing as they tell us to do.

1Jo 3:18  My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Mat 22:37  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

Col 3:20  Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord.

[nChrist]

Pastor Roger,

AMEN AND AMEN!!!

Brother, thank you for sharing! If we really love our children and grandchildren, we MUST bring them up in the LORD! This is a duty to GOD and to our children.

Brother, we all need to be constantly reminded and instructed about what the really important things of this short life are. It isn't the things of this world or earthly possessions, rather JESUS and everlasting LIFE in HIM!

Love In Christ,
Tom

Psalms 97:10 NASB  Hate evil, you who love the LORD, Who preserves the souls of His godly ones; He delivers them from the hand of the wicked.

[Soldier4Christ]

It isn't the things of this world or earthly possessions, rather JESUS and everlasting LIFE in HIM!

Amen, Brother.

Mat 6:19  Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:
Mat 6:20  But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
Mat 6:21  For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.