Should we take up a love offering and GET YOU SOME GLASSES??  

 

Why should I get more glasses, when the pair I have I just got last month.

Cause apparently, that prescription AIN'T working....

The glasses are colorblind not being able to see all the silver.

Your giving scerets away ollie.

Them secrets is awful loud!  

No there not, you are only seeing things.  

The tire looks new ollie.

Sure does! Looks like brand new treads!  

A brand new retread.

Sincereheart,

   They were used teeth when I got them.

Love In Christ,
Tom

K, now that's just WRONG!  

*insert pukie smilie here*
*still shuddering*

LOL
How about............. a drooling smilie?

Nope. Drool doesn't cut it! Gotta be worse - pukie is needed!

You mean like this?

Ummmm...... yes???  

Good I'm glad. :eek:

Should we take up a love offering and GET YOU SOME GLASSES??  

 

Oklahoma Howdy to Sincereheart,

   Just curious - do you take care of teeth and hearing aids too?

Love In Christ,
Tom

How about walkers and canes?

Those don't sound too bad! Which would you prefer that we start with?  

Both, if possible.

Okey dokey. But wouldn't you need three hands to use them all at once?  

Not if the cane is on the front of the walker.

Theres nothing wrong with a Kilt.
You better shave your legs though.....................

  There's a visual I didn't need......

And wouldn't shaving ruin the aforementioned macho aspect?  

ROFL
There's a visual you do need................  

I'm scarred for life!   What's next? Pantyhose?  

You scarred for life?? LOL
Hey they work to keep the legs warm durning winter. From what I understand.

Warmth? Try pants!  

Wait.... what is that?
From what I understand.
Oh! That silver again!  
Just you and Joe Namath!  

And all the "Dallas Coboys"*** when in Greenbay in December or January, perhaps even in October and November.
Or is that when in Buffalo?

***= "Dallas Cowbys", oops "Dallas Cowboys"

ALL of 'em?   No wonder I don't like football!

Well maybe not the coach.  

Wouldn't the coach need it more than the players? He's gotta be colder since he's not running around chasing a ball??!!

Thats why he wears a jacket.

Closer!  

I looked and looked and that was the closest I found.  

  It does represent what keeping up with these threads makes ME look like!  

What a retread?  

Should we take up a love offering and GET YOU SOME GLASSES??  

 

Oklahoma Howdy to Sincereheart,

   Just curious - do you take care of teeth and hearing aids too?

Love In Christ,
Tom

NO!!! Cause men and hearing aids is a wasted combination! And teeth *shudders* I just can't go there!  

SIGH, they can be turned off. What a blessing at times for men.

*raspberries* Men just kick in their selective hearing....

Are you saying, men can turn it off with out any electronic help? just by clicking that mental mind switch? Must also be a blessing.  

Men are famous for their selective hearing!  

No, I have a reason, so........ :nana: : nana:

Excuse me, I was reading the Court of Justice/EU Court.

Based in Luxembourg, the Court adjudicates on cases under the EU treaties. It is the final interpreter of EU legal issues under the treaties, its decisions cannot be appealed against. It adjudicates in cases brought before it by citizens or associations, by Member States against one another, by Member States against the EU institutions and vice versa, and by EU institutions against one another. The Court consists of one judge from each Member State and nine advocate generals, who prepare the cases. They are divided into chambers.

The Court is only responsible for first pillar (supra-national) issues and is therefore officially called the European Community Court. Under the Treaty of Nice the Court gained competence in some Justice and Home Affairs and may now be called the EU Court. The Court has been a major influence in interpreting the treaties in ways that have effectively extended EU competence to the widest possible extent. In 1964, in the Costa vs. Enel case, it decided that EU law must over-ride (have primacy over) national law. In 1970, in the Internationale Handelsgesellschaft and Simmenthal cases it decided that EU law also over-rides (has primacy over) national constitutions.

It has a lower court, the Court of First Instance, to which cases concerning competition policy, staff disputes and certain other cases are delegated.

The future

If the Charter of Fundamental Rights is made legally binding, as proposed in the draft Constitution, the Court will become a rival to the Human Rights Court in Strasbourg, for both will be dealing with human rights issues.

[Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.]

http://www.euobserver.com/?sid=9&aid=16609

EUOBSERVER / BRUSSELS - The European Constitution will remain without a reference to Christianity, under new proposals by the Irish EU Presidency.

In a paper dealing with eleventh-hour issues circulated to governments on Sunday (12 June), Dublin moderates the lengthy preamble to the Constitution but does not add any reference to God or Christianity.

_______________


Dan 11:36   And the king shall do according to his will; and he shall exalt himself, and magnify himself above every god, and shall speak marvellous things against the God of gods, and shall prosper till the indignation be accomplished: for that that is determined shall be done.
Dan 11:37   Neither shall he regard the God of his fathers, nor the desire of women, nor regard any god: for he shall magnify himself above all.

_______________

FYI,
this is presumably my last topicpost before moving to South Africa.

Have fun all, and see you topside.
2B

I was reading that tonight 2B.


Have a safe trip, go with God in peace.
DW

Mine is meatloaf, mashed potatoes (real mashed taters,) and corn on the cob.
Whats your favorite?

Idiots and Computers:
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?"

Idiots In Food Services:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

Idiots Do Math:
A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming to visit her for the holidays. Someone asked how old her sister was, at which she paused, thought for a bit, and then answered, "She's half as old as I am, that's how I always remember." So someone else (okay, it was me) said, "That's neat... So every year that you age, she only ages half a year?" My co-worker thought about that, and then said, "Oh, yeah, I guess it only works on even years."

Idiots and Geography:
After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said, Really? Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?

Advice for Idiots:
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees. Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes.

Idiots in the Neighborhood:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

Sign in a gas station: Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

At a grocery store in San Jose, they have new credit card/bank card readers at the checkout stands. If you don't know how to orient your card to swipe it through the reader, the checkout person will say, "Strip down, face toward me."

A customer at a sub shop ordered "a small soda." The owner responded, "I'm sorry, sir, but  we don't have small, just medium and large." (Both cost 99 cents.) The kicker came when the customer, a rather well-dressed business type, disappointedly said, "Okay, I guess I'll just have to have the medium then."

35 top oxymoron's

35. State worker  
34. Legally drunk
33. Exact estimate
32. Act naturally
31. Found missing
30. Resident alien
29. Genuine imitation
28. Airline Food
27. Good grief
26. Government organization
25. Sanitary landfill
24. Alone together
23. Small crowd
22. Business ethics
21. Soft rock
20. Butt Head
19. Military Intelligence
18. Sweet sorrow
17. Rural Metro (ambulance service)
16. "Now, then ..."
15. Passive aggression
14. Clearly misunderstood
13. Peace force
12. Extinct Life
11. Plastic glasses
10. Terribly pleased
9. Computer security
8. Political science
7. Tight slacks
6. Definite maybe
5. Pretty ugly
4. Rap music
3. Working vacation
2. States tolerance

And the number one top Oxymoron.... 1. Microsoft Works
 

Martha Stewart's tips for rednecks
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat from the table...no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back.  Some will say 10:00 PM; others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS
1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux.  A leisure suit with a gotcha63bund and clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.