How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

That's a good one.

Sarah, the church gossip and self-appointed supervisor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several residents were unappreciative of her activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his pickup truck parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She commented to George and others that everyone seeing it there would know that he was an alcoholic. George, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just walked away. He said nothing.

Later that evening, George, quietly parked his pickup in front of Sarah's house...............

AND he left it there all night.

Morgans are cute. 

I'm not going to laugh at the squirrel, I ended up useing my walker for the first time in 4 years again yesterday, and today. I fell, the Myasthenia Gravis has flared up making my muscles very weak. But, when I get thru with the walker Pr, I'll loan it to ya 
Oh by the way I went back to the eye doctor yesterday too, and he had to fix my script, now I need tri-focals, he said I am almost leagally blind

Maybe it was posted while you were sleeping?   

DreamWeaver sleeps? 

[God]

I know. Isn't it wonderful?

This plural "Elohim" is in this verse: "Behold, O Israel, the Lord your God [Elohim], the Lord is one"

Nope, just the pleasure of having done it.

 

Well, that stinks. But maybe folks like DreamWeaver don't need any incentive to talk. 

After analyzing data on 126,000 people for as long as 18 years, Harvard researchers calculate that compared with not partaking in America's favorite morning drink, downing one to three cups of caffeinated coffee daily can reduce diabetes risk by single digits. But having six cups or more each day slashed men's risk by 54% and women's by 30% over java avoiders.



Consider this: At least six studies indicate that people who drink coffee on a regular basis are up to 80% less likely to develop Parkinson's, with three showing the more they drink, the lower the risk. Other research shows that compared to not drinking coffee, at least two cups daily can translate to a 25% reduced risk of colon cancer, an 80% drop in liver cirrhosis risk, and nearly half the risk of gallstones.


There's also some evidence that coffee may help manage asthma and even control attacks when medication is unavailable, stop a headache, boost mood, and even prevent cavities.


"The evidence is very strong that regular coffee consumption reduces risk of Parkinson's disease and for that, it's directly related to caffeine," DePaulis tells WebMD. "In fact, Parkinson's drugs are now being developed that contain a derivative of caffeine based on this evidence."

Translation: If you are jittery enough, diseases can't see you.

My grandfather died with (perhaps not OF) a form of Parkinson's, and my grandmother had Alzheimers, and their parents had the same things, so I am going to get up and brew some more
 COFFEE!

Thats about the worst thing I did, when I was young. Except putting 55 gallons of concentrated  liquid soap in the City Hall fountain, back in 1975.

[AND THEN RUNS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DOWN THE BLOCK!]

Your older brother is in a steaming, hot shower getting ready for his Saturday night date. Little brother sneaks in with a 5 gallon bucket full of ice water, stands on a stool, and dumps the entire 5 gallon bucket over the shower curtain. OH! - I forgot - AND THEN RUNS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE HOUSE AND DOWN THE BLOCK!

HAHAHA...

hey i remember we used to have a crap apple tree orchid behind the house.

A what?

so we used to get two teams together and have crap apple fights

You did what??

well the crap appples were really sour and there were tons of them

Oh, dear!  

(My mom won't let me say 'crap', I can only say 'poop' or 'dirty'.)


   Just kidding, I know you meant crab apples.

  Yeah! Do you earn any phoneline miles for this??

What about forts?  No one I think said anything about forts.  I remember one time we wanted to make a fort in this bush but there was a nest of hornets that lived in the ground.  It was my bright idea to make a soap water solution to pour into the hole.  We designated John to go and pour it on the bees.  He poured it down the hole and all the sudden a swarm of angry bees were chasing him.  Boy could that kid run fast!

I bet he ran fast, LOL! My grandparents lived in the Appalachian country, and we moved there to take care of grandma. It was great, woods and creeks and hilly fields. My sister and I made forts with branches and rocks, with moss for carpets, as well as bridges and paths...

Other things I remember growing up:

Wild strawberry picking

wild blackberries and raspberries, for me!

See?  I was born in 1985 and growing up we still knew how to have fun

Hey! I'm finally OLDER than someone on this thread!! 

another time a friend of mine and I was with our church group at an all night camp and there was a older guy there(well older then we were , we were teens he was in 40s at that time) and he was always bouncing at her and I for one thing or another.. so that night we snuck out and put his car in nutruel and pushed it to the opposite side of the huge yard, he um spent quite some time looking for it the next mornin,, man was he M_A_D when he discovered who and how that had happened

Heeheehee...

That actually happened in a city near us a few months back! 
The city was MAD and my husband and I drove by and just laughed! 
And we snickered every time the news reports tried to make it sound so terrible! 

WAIT! Was that you, Pastor Roger?